196530

Joke of the Day

"Mommy mommy, in school they all call me liar! Aww my Timmy, you're not in school yet."

"Ironically, seeing a picture of you flashing a peace sign makes me want to violently end your life."

"If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might have sex daily!"

"My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof... I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage."

"Yeah, but I thought the whole point of twitter was to be stalked.nnThe word 'follower' should be evidence of that"

"What I buy from a tea shop I sigh everytime."

"women sure love never chilling the fuck out"

"If it looks like I'm typing for five minutes I'm really just trying to spell diarrhea."

"I went on a boat trip around Paris, ...it was in-seine!"

"Can a cigar box? No, but a tin can."