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Joke of the Day

"I had to put my dog down last night He's just too darn heavy to carry around anymore."

"What he said, ""Let's just drop it."" What I heard, ""I can't think of a single way to win this argument, I bow to your wit and intelligence."""

"Big deal, McDonalds. We're all here for a limited time only."

"Men couldn't be trusted with multiple orgasms. I've seen the mess they make with one."

"Well, if it doesn't include antidepressants, they shouldn't call it a Happy Meal."

"I just got whipped and gagged by a lady covered in a ton of specks of leather. She was a dot matrix dominatrix."

"What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her? Stop using Chex as a weapon!"

"Two back desk orchestral players go fishing And one falls out of the boat. He screams: ""help, I don't know how to swim!"" His partner replies: ""just fake it!"""

"If Private Ryan was Black...it would be called..""Sorry for your loss Mrs.Ryan."""

"I saw a documentry on saving the planet They had some garbage facts"