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Joke of the Day

"Why should a woman President never masturbate? Reports that she has her finger on The Button would cause panic."

"What is Sean Connery's favorite dish? A seizure salad."

"Oh good, I've made this mistake before so I know what to expect."

"Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together"

"Waldo books are cute until u learn he owes $100,000 in unpaid child support & is wanted for arson"

"How many guys in the friend zone does it take to light a light bulb? None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won't screw."

"I got a new job breaking up suicidal couples. I'm not very good at it, two of them already tied the knot."

"A man walks into a bar And says ouch. Hello Caldera! I'll be here all week!"

"It's amazing how alcohol can make you do so many stupid things on your smart phone."

"Why do Communists only drink coffee? Because proper tea is theft."