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Joke of the Day

"GF: I'm sick of communicating via walkie talkies. I think we should breakup ME: we should breakup what? OVER GF: its over ME: its what? OVER"

"Why did the 3 men go in to the bar?.. To get drunk"

"What do a feminist and a policeman have in common? Q: What do a feminist and a policeman have in common? A: They're both trigger-happy."

"What do you call a Chinese billionaire? Cha Ching"

"What type of luggage only speaks in short sentences ? A brief case."

"I wanna get rid of this memory foam mattress, but it knows too much."

"What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!"

"[parole hearing] OFFICER: are u reformed? ME: I O: go on M: I th O: tell us M: I'm O: yes M: can I finish my sentence O: ok parole denied"

"How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25? Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20."

"Give weeds an inch... And they'll take a yard."