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Joke of the Day

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist.... I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 guys... then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled ""FUCK ME!"" What happened next will haunt me the for the rest of my life..."

"Knock, knock, Come in."

"A neutron walk in to a bar... A neutron walk in to a bar, orders a beer and asks: How much? The bartender looks at him and replies: For you, no charge!"

"Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you're the crazy one."

"What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner? Carbon dating."

"Where do man-splainers get their water? From a well, actually..."

"When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask ""who's in charge of tossing the salads here?"" Then I frown & order the soup."

"I start a new job in Seoul next week... ...I thought it might be a good Korea move."

"I can tell these $80 Nikes are going to help me get from the couch to the bathroom six times a day a lot faster."

"Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare!"