194072

Joke of the Day

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist.... I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 guys... then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled ""FUCK ME!"" What happened next will haunt me the for the rest of my life..."

"Thanks to home security commercials, I am now terrified of middle aged white men."

"What's green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table"

"Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving."

"So I was talking to Abrham Lincoln And I asked him, ""what are you doing tonight?"". He said, ""My wife's dragging me to a play somebody please kill me."""

"Why wasn't Boy George any good at English? because he always put 5 commas before chameleon."

"Imagine a hunter in a deer stand but instead of a gun he has a long stick he pokes the deer with and they look around like ""ok who did that"""

"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years. I don't have 2020 vision."

"It's about damn time we start talking about spontaneous combustion. It doesn't happen in a vaccuum."

"I'd get in the back of their van if they told me they had a phone charger in it."