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Joke of the Day
"Fetty Wap could probably get more girls. Too bad he's not much of a looker."
Next Joke
"It's funny to randomly say mid-conversation: Are you implying I'm gay?"
"My friend wants to carve a Venus statue from a tree. That seems like it would take a while, woodentit?"
"Trump is already making good on his promise for jobs. Who else would hire Three Doors Down?"
"I'm 39, If you invite me to a party that only starts after 10pm, I'm not even going to pretend I'll make it."
"What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot? A Walkie Talkie"
"You want to see Americans become activists? Cancel a TV show they like."
"2 Jews walk into a bar.... They buy it."
"She: But WHY are you breaking up with me? Please tell me honestly. He (sigh): Ok It's...your ""signature sex move"" She: Judgmental Corpse?"
"Waiter: how would you like your steak? Me: rare [later] Waiter: *brings steak with a 1st edition Charizard on it* Me: *tearing up* perfect"