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Joke of the Day

"""Are you from Cincinnati?"" ""No. Bosboston."""

"I like to make up little activities to keep the kids busy, such as ""Go out and find $1000 by midnight or we're gonna lose the house!"""

"Achieve the ""smokey eye"" look by setting your head on fire."

"Is it good to drink witch's brew? Yes it's very newt tricious!"

"why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border"

"What did quantum consciousness say to its son? Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging."

"What is every blonde's ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet."

"You can't have your status and like it too."

"I have a solution to procrastination I will tell you tomorrow"

"Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed."