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Joke of the Day

"I spent two hours child-proofing my home. They still got in."

"President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court ""I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!"" said an excited Obama."

"A man walks up to god and asks him, ""Are you a ladies man?"" God replies: ""I'm a soul man."""

"Which two letters on the keyboard are the furthest from each other? X and V. There's a C between them."

"My son decided to help me clean the car today. After ten minutes of watching him, I told him to use some elbow grease. Two hours later, the idiot came back and told me that he couldn't find it."

"Why didn't the waffle go to the pancake party? He was a square."

"Post the most offensive jokes you can think of The child abuser motto: hit them before puberty does"

"For ""fuck sake"" or ""for fuck's sake?"" I need this email to sound professional."

"Why did Dave Mirra cross the road? To go to the Gun Store!!"

"Did you hear about the new 8bit Nazi Simulator game? It's called Eightolf Bitler."