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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me I'm an emotional, emotional, insecure coward. Now I feel depressed. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid she'll leave me any time. **** Dammit, I spoiled it with the double emotional."

Next Joke
 
"*ref blows whistle* Whistle: oh, oh god, wow. Oh geeeze"
"4/20 It's Hitler's birthday today... ... I guess that brings a whole another meaning to ""Smoking a J"""
"When a girl doesn't invite me up to her place after a date I just assume it's because she's a hoarder with 30 kitty cats."
"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but they have to be very tiny"
"You know what's the saddest part of North Korea getting hacked? It won't get to see this."
"I've fathered 200 children..... in one of my reddit comments."
"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."
"My wife wanted me to see the world from a woman's perspective... So I stood next to the kitchen window."
"Nomenclature is important when courting a lady. For example, ""feminine scent"" and ""feminine odor"" are perceived differently. You're welcome."