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Joke of the Day

"""just great, I've lost my house my wife is leaving and my kids hate me how can this day get any worse"" -A dinosaur, 66 million years ago"

"Saying, ""I'm sorry,"" is the same as saying, ""I apologize."" Except at a funeral. - Demetri Martin"

"How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb ."

"Did you ever hear about the Bass player whose timing was so bad he threw himself behind a train?"

"This vodka tastes strange, kinda like I'm not going to work tomorrow."

"So excited that The Weather Channel picked up ""Weather"" for another season!!"

"Facebook users are roaming the streets in tears, shoving photos of themselves in people's faces and screaming 'DO YOU LIKE THIS? DO YOU??'"

"One time I exaggerated so hard that I died."

"If I had a dog, I'd name it Syndrome. I'd teach it to jump up on people just so I could shout ""Down, Syndrome!"""

"SOON I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE AS YOUR WORLD LEADER BUT FIRST WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S CASSEROLE RECIPE IT IS DELIGHTFUL"