168926

Joke of the Day

"Why do jews get their penises circumcised? Because Jewish girls won't touch anything that's not 10% off"

"Why couldn't the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh"

"Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction? The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us"

"What does the skeleton say when ganking bot lane? BETTER TO RUN THAN CURSE THE ROAD"

"What do you call an article written about a dead astronaut? An *orbit*-tuary!"

"A Freudian slip? That's where you think one thing but fuck your mother."

"Why are black people so tall? Cuz their knee grows."

"FB makes HS reunions awkward. Hey, I haven't seen you 20 years. So how was that nap you took this afternoon?"

"Just did my first stand up comedy routine ever. AMA."

"Your momma is so stupid That her adult child is still reading and downvoting Yo momma jokes."