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Joke of the Day

"A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street. They spied a young boy playing up the street. The Priest said to the Rabbi, ""let's go up and fuck that boy"". The Rabbi said ""out of how much""."

"What's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire."

"a muslim, a jew, a christian and an atheist walk into a coffee shop... and they talk, laugh, drink coffee and become good friends. thats what happens when you're not an asshole."

"Running through a campground is impossible. You can only ran, because it's past tents."

"What's the difference between Texas and Russia? One's a disgusting cesspool full of paranoid, bigoted, anti-American sadists, and the other is really cold."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife is dead."

"[hospital] ""I'm afraid it's bad news. Your husband will never walk again"" ""Oh God, he's paralysed?"" ""No, someone's bought him rollerblades"""

"My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 600 miles away. That's a bit far-fetched"

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness? He was too super fish oil."