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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because they'll melt."

"Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too."

"It's 2012. We're supposed to have flying cars and stuff. But no... Just pajamas that look like jeans."

"Dentist: ""When was the last time you flossed?"" Me: ""BRO, you were there."""

"I still remember taking down that bullying 12 year old on the playground like it was yesterday. My Dad was so proud. Ah, to be 30 again!"

"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."

"[Rock Paper Scissors Best of 7 Championship] *down 3 games to 0 against Edward Scissorhands* MY COACH: Stop choosing paper!"

"Have you heard the new yoga joke? It's kind of a stretch..."

"Why did the boat know it had a leak? That sinking feeling..."

"What were ACDC called when they were kids? ABCD"