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Joke of the Day

"Just finished writing my will. In TOTALLY UNRELATED news, I'm about to try resolving some issues regarding my iTunes library."

"What do you call a Roman with hair between his teeth? a GladHeAteHer"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your dick into an asshole..."

"A man arrives home and was absolutely delighted when he saw that someone had stolen every single lamp from his house"

"I asked my mother if I could have some cloth to give to the nuns. She said, ""Fine, just don't let it become a habit"""

"Did you hear about the kidnapping? They woke him up."

"""wow with attitude like this do you even have friends"" me: yes in fact i have all 10 seasons of it"

"A man goes to the doctor... ...to seek treatment for both premature ejaculation and diarrhea. The doctor simply shrugs and says ""Easy come, easy go."""

"How much rest does a bad Sheppard get? Not a ton, he has a lot of sheepless nights."

"Ladies, stop relying on Cosmo. It's written by women who don't know siht about men."