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Joke of the Day

"What did the necropheliac say to her boyfriend? Did rigor mortis just set in, or are you just happy to see me? Edit: I'm an idiot"

"I'll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I'll be over there for you."

"Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?"

"What's so bad about being a dick? Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole your master covers you in a plastic bag And every time you get excited you spew."

"Teacher:""Okay class, time to take a test. Please take out your no.2 pencils."" *Takes out no.1 pencil* ( )"

"How do I like eggs? Ummm...in a cake!"

"What do you get when you put your hand in a blender? A hand shake."

"I named my hard drive ""dat ass"" so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'."

"Mother's have mother's day and father's have father's day. What do male redditors have? -Palm sunday"

"I hate when you tell someone you're bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you're not quite that bored"