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Joke of the Day

"9-1-1 help, someone buried me alive *looks at phone* christ, and there's no wifi"

"Why did CNN hire a tabloid ripping strongman as one of their anchors? Because he was great at breaking the news."

"It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?"

"Parents yelling ""I'm not going to ask you again"" at their kids, will definitely be asking them again"

"I Ordered Pizza From OP Pizza... Turns out they don't deliver."

"What starts with ""E"" and has only one letter in it? Envelope!"

"Padme: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who's not going to murder me. Anakin: You've chosen wisely."

"What's the difference between three cocks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, What the hell are you doing with your life?'"

"Why does the Vanu Sovereignty hate plastic bags? They keep Terran."