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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death ""Jokes on you"" I said ""if I die in battle I'll go straight to Valhalla"""

"Hillary will give her concession speech... Since somebody paid her $250,000 speaking fee."

"My first child will be named New Folder."

"i have a little piece of wood i like to gently hit my wifes breasts with.... its a mammary stick."

"How Do You Start An African Rave? staple toast to the ceiling..."

"Why can black people jump so high Because their knee grows."

"What animal should you never play cards with? A cheetah"

"I've been reading a book about anti gravity I just can't put it down!"

"What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren't so fresh we wouldn't be in this jam."

"What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake? I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me"