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Joke of the Day

"""why aren't you in school?"" ""i'm too cool for school, officer."" *checks cop computer* ""checks out, youre free to go."" kid is undercover nerd"

"How do you get rid of a fat ghost? Exorcise it."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 15 years"

"Childless people wondering what it's like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor."

"How often do women become completely unreasonable? Periodically."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Chopin ! Chopin who ? Chopin the supermarket !"

"What's the one phrase gays will be reluctant to say now? ""Shoot it in my mouth"""

"eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as i thought."

"Why do they call it ""Ben Folds Five""? Because he folds five penises and puts them into little drawers!"

"You're so fake, Barbie is jealous."