64615

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cheap hooker? A bang for your buck."

"*sees a baby screaming on the plane* wait-- WAIT. WHY IS HE SCREAMING. OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SCREAMING. WHAT DOSE HE KNOW THAT WE DONT"

"friend: Are you eating a whole frozen pizza by yourself? me: It was on sale for $4 friend: I wasnt asking because I thought it was expensive"

"Showed up late for work and blamed it on rush hour. Showed up late again the next day and blamed it on rush hour 2."

"What do Roman Polanski and Bumblebee Tuna have in common? They both come in little cans."

"There's an opening for a scapegoat at our office. I think you'd be perfect for the job."

"On a scale of one to ten... ...you aren't getting a helpful measurement of your weight"

"Why did the spider buy a car ? So he could take it out for a spin !"

"So my neighbor asked me to fix her sink She's obviously never seen a porno because it's been an hour and I'm still fixing the damn sink"

"""Stop the bus and let my friend Jack off!"""