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Joke of the Day
"How come Apple-products have so small transistors? Children have very small hands"
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"How do you know your wife's dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up."
"One Wish If I was a governor the first thing I'd do, is make having a family garden an excessive tax write-off: and I'd have the most beautiful state ever."
"Do we even know if ducks can fart? We should put a guy on that."
"How many Trump protestors does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Trump protestors won't change anything."
"[travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over"
"So a bum asked me for same change... A homeless man asked me for some change today. I said to him, ""Sorry, pal. You should know better than me that no one in this place has got _innocence_."""
"Whether you love him or hate him... ...Trump got more fat women walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years."
"What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Swim for it..."
"Why do we hire Nazis as Game Developers? Because they're Pro-Grammer."