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Joke of the Day

"I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams."

"What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slow swimmer"

"America: We put the 'try' in country."

"How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender."

"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."

"Why did Beyonce sing ""to the left, to the left"" ? Because she knew Niggas have no right."

"Damn girl I like the way you constantly change your profile pic to the one good picture of you from 2008."

"Everyone's talking about how the story with Ahmed and the clock has really blown up... ... but isn't the whole point of the story that the clock never blew up?"

"Looking out the hospital window while mom is resting on bed. That was either dad or superman falling of the roof."

"I asked my Spanish friend if he knew what potassium is... He didn't. All he said was ""Que?"""