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Joke of the Day

"How many Shia laBeouf's does it take to change a lightbulb? NonononononononononoNONONONONONO! NONONONONONONO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! (he can't.)"

"If I got a dollar every time somebody called me a racist Black people would rob me"

"Ugh, I'm still writing 2009 on all my ransom notes"

"My dad told me that getting a blowjob is the only way to get ahead in life."

"a magician was driving down the road... then he turned into a driveway"

"It's totally amazing how cars run on dinosaur poop or however the fuck fossils work. I'm not a dinosaur scientition over here. Fuck's sake."

"What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building? ""Don't do it! You have so much potential!"""

"Why didn't the hippie save the drowning swimmer? He was too far out man"

"What happened to the Jew who ran into the wall with a boner....? ....He broke his nose"

"Canada Post is under heavy DDoS attack. Somebody sent 2 letters at the same time."