168315

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I meet a new baby, I stand still and let it come up to me and smell my hand first before I try to pet it"

"Wanna hear a funny yolk? ""Whats a yolk?"" ""An egg joke!"""

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? In a BMW, the prick is on the inside."

"I was in Ethiopia and I thought I may as well have a threesome... ...you know - two birds, one stone."

"My grandad was killed by a zulu He was having a shit in London zoo and the roof fell in."

"The improper fraction help line is now open 24/7"

"Why do we call rulers ""Your Highness""? because that's what they measure."

"My professor accused me of plagiarism His words, not mine."

"Did you hear about the gym where people pay to get punched in the face? Go after hours, there's no punch line!"

"During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name."