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Joke of the Day

"The improper fraction help line is now open 24/7"

"How do rabbis make money off of circumcisions? They get to keep the tips."

"Cheers to the freakin weekend *lays in bed for 2 days straight*"

"*gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER"

"Why did the bumble bee have sticky fur? Because he used a honey comb."

"Little Red Riding Hood is my favorite story about an idiot who can't tell the difference between a human and a wolf."

"Son, I wanted to talk to you about masturbation... If you do it too much you'll go blind Dad I'm over here Edit: a letter Heard that in middle school thought you guys might get a chuckle out of it"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You may think R, but a pirates first love will always be the C."

"On June 28, 2009 Stephen Hawking threw a party for time-travelers. He announced the party the day after it happened and he said no one came."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's Fingers"