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Joke of the Day

"My professor accused me of plagiarism His words, not mine."

"If I wanted a president, who had never touched a vagina... ...I would've voted Jeb!"

"If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I'm about as self-helpful as they come."

"I went to Art Therapy to treat my dyslexia. I don't know why they put me in a maze, but the cheese was good."

"What do you call a place showcasing gay people in their natural environment? A queerium"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman? Zero."

"Answer: 9W Question: Does your name begin with a V Herr Wagner?"

"Romeo and Juliet is Not a Love Story... It's a 3-Day relationship between a 13 year-old and a 17 year-old that caused 6 Deaths. Sincerely, everyone who actually Read it."

"How does the enthusiastic man eat his hot dog? With relish."

"Bathroom joke What's the difference between sanctuary and prison? Toilet paper."