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Joke of the Day

"My coworker told me he didn't want to buy girl scout cookies because he didn't want to get diabetes. I told him not to worry. Diabetes isn't a sexually transmitted disease."

"A toilet was stolen from a police station today... It's a pretty serious crime. The police have nothing to go on."

"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."

"(Pickup line) Are you a test-tube baby? Because you're perfect."

"The Mohel Did ya know that Mohels don't get paid? They only take tips."

"A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er."

"Which educational institute did many Jehovah's Witnesses graduate from? The School of Hard Knocks."

"What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable? Fitting the wheelchair in the oven."

"You know what keeps me up at night? Pauly Shore has turned down more hot women than I will ever, ever meet. Pauly. Shore."

"Why can't pedophiles eat butter? It will raise their molesterol."