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Joke of the Day

"(Pickup line) Are you a test-tube baby? Because you're perfect."

"I keep having suicidal thoughts But I try not to get too hung up on them."

"I invented a new joke. Plagarism."

"I hope the next Rambo movie is called 'Rambo No. 5' and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that."

"What happened when the Malaysian asked the Russian out on a date? He got shot down."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just kidding, feminists don't change anything"

"Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his whopper."

"Why couldn't the pony speak clearly? He was a little hoarse."

"You'd think that with NSA reading our tweets all the time, they could star or retweet some of the good ones."

"Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise? Me: Does sex count as exercise? Dr: Yes. Me: No."