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Joke of the Day

"Make sure that nobody ever invades your personal space by constantly hula hooping wherever you go."

"I wonder if I could fit my entire body inside a woman's. Through her mouth. Penis-first."

"A pirate walks into a bar With a steering wheel attached to his belt. Confused, the bartender asks the man ""Hey buddy, what's up with the wheel?"" The pirate replies ""Aaaargh, it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"I broke my finger today But on the other hand im fine"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog."

"OH MY GOD THE INSPIRATIONAL TWEETS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE"

"What do you call a short, round-bellied Salarian? Mordin Volus"

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it! (Not sure of the spelling, heard it from someone)."

"An Asian man goes to the eye doctor and the doctor says ""Sir, I'm sorry to say but you have a Cataract""... The Asian man turns to the doctor and says ""No, I have uh Rincoln Continentar"""

"I thought I'd found the perfect website to help me overcome my fear of flying until it crashed."