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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said to me... ""If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."" Turns out she meant together."

"Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks."

"If I pour superglue into a non-stick frying pan, somebody is going to be wrong, right?"

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Huh, would you look at that, it was a tie."

"Why didn't the Pharaoh believe he was drowning? Because he was in deNile"

"A tree falls in the forest and kills a baby, whos fault is it? The lumberjack"

"It's Friday night, you know what that means! I'm going to get loaded and tweet a bunch of stupid shit and then delete it all tomorrow. Yay!"

"What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living? You call 'im Maury. :)"

"I'm American, and I'm fed up of people saying that America is the stupidest country in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world"

"A 3-foot long chocolate bar is ""fun size"" not a 2-inch one. I'm not afraid to be controversial."