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Joke of the Day

"So funny I forgot to laugh. Me: *tells bad joke* Buddy: That's so funny I forgot to laugh! Me: So is that what Alzheimer's is like? Buddy: That's so funny I forgot to laugh!"

"I need to get baked ...goods for the staff party this afternoon."

"Treat your women like your smartphone; touch them a lot."

"How does a Muslim shut a door? Islams it."

"There were 2 cows in a field and one says ""mooo"" and the other says... ""I was going to say that"""

"Girls call me the Burgermeister Meisterburger... After they get with me, they throw away all their toys."

"Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don't get her a size S with a gift receipt, you're an asshole."

"How do you call a lesbian dinosaur Lickalotopus"

"Spider Man, Spider Man Chillin' in his camper van Kickin' back, drinkin' booze head to toe in sweet tattoos Hang on That is not Spider Man"

"Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory."