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Joke of the Day
"How does a Muslim shut a door? Islams it."
Next Joke
"I tried to jerk off with toothpaste last night... it hurt so I had to quit, but I can perform auto-fellatio, so at least I have fresh breath."
"That awkward moment when someone asks if you've dyed your hair and you say no, its just clean."
"ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing"
"I'm a lying birch Username checks out."
"What is a gay boxer's favorite drink? Fruity punch"
"What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use lubricant."
"When Arwen and Aragorn got married... was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer? *edit Thanks Kikifoun_Unui... not my main language T_T"
"My wife and I welcomed our second child into the world yesterday afternoon! I never knew she African ancestry...but I guess I should have known with the first one."
"Congrats to #LeonardoDiCaprio on his first Best Actor Oscar. You can stop sacrificing goats now."