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Joke of the Day

"Why are Jews so bad at baseball? They always get out on the third reich"

"You can catch a lot of flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys by being fly."

"Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11? A: Elephants never forget."

"Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair"

"A doe came running out of the forest: ""That's the last time I do that for two bucks."""

"I remember the days when I wasn't addicted to Facebook...I also remember eating, sleeping, going out, returning calls, making eye contact,"

"Know who I really admire? Stephen Hawkins. He is confined to a wheelchair, cannot use his limbs or his voice... ...yet he carries on without making a song and dance about it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He was trying to draw the zoophile into traffic. Thanks /u/LFBR for the premise."

"Why do gay people dress so well? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing!"

"Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects? They were looking for the ark tick."