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Joke of the Day

"You can catch a lot of flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys by being fly."

"what if it doesnt want to be called hot sauce???? what if it wants to be called beautiful sauce"

"I got a 0 on my computers test. a 01000001"

"ME: Onions make me cry. HER: It's from a compound called Syn-Propanethial-S-Oxide. ME: I think it's probably cuz an onion killed my parents."

"Man, those guys in the Cialis commercial sure are charmed by their wives' approximations of human behavior"

"I want to be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness."

"What do you call Oprah on drugs? Doprah"

"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet."

"What's the difference between redditors and eggs? Eggs get laid."

"I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize."