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Joke of the Day

"noooo lost a drinking game guess i have to drink this alcohol i paid for with full intention of consuming"

"I say no to alcohol every day. It just doesn't listen."

"In this era of excessive exclamation point use, punctuating a text with a period is the quickest and simplest way to cause concern."

"We now return to 'CANADIAN SNIPER' *canadian sniper shoots an enemy* *canadian sniper yells 'sorry' from far away*"

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food? Hop suey!"

"Break a mirror and get 7 years of bad luck... Break a condom and get 18"

"Husband said our electricity bills are too high need to cut back so I asked him to move."

"I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone."

"What's a terrorist's favorite type of game? An RPG"

"What does God call his nose? God knows."