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Joke of the Day

"In this era of excessive exclamation point use, punctuating a text with a period is the quickest and simplest way to cause concern."

"what is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? one is heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE"

"I bet it's crazy hard to do the YMCA dance in Chinese..."

"If you get behind in your reading check you're not sitting on your book."

"Pizza places, we don't want cheesy bread. Pizza is cheesy bread."

"What do you call a middle eastern man with a bounty on his head? A towel head."

"Which state has the most progressive bathroom laws? Transylvania."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. They can't change anything."

"My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back."