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Joke of the Day

"(Shaq wakes up, steps in front of the green screen in his bedroom, knocks out 20-30 commercials, begins his day.)"

"if you can get a price tag onto a priceless jewel they have to sell it to you for that price, it's a simply trick that saves on heist work"

"I hope one day to be dating a moderator from /r/jokes... Everything is long from their point of view!!"

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"

"Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin. One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales"

"So a Blonde is sitting with her Blonde friend at the bar... ...and says to her friend ""I slept with a brazilian last night."" ""That's **terrible!**"" her friend says. ""How much is a brazilian?"

"What drives the hype train? The hyper drive."

"Penis jokes are not funny especially the short ones."

"Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies."

"*gives you dictionary for your birthday* wow.. i don't know what to say ""that's why i bought it for you"""