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Joke of the Day

"I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I'm too excited to wait at home so I'm camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?"

"Do you know the difference between a cheeseburger and a blowjob? (No- what?) Want to get lunch sometime?"

"What's the difference between a Nun in Church and a Nun in the bath One has Hope in her Soul the other has Soap in her Hole."

"Don't just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair"

"I ate 23k pounds of cream cheese yesterday. BUT, there were nuts in it and I yelled FITFAM the whole time so technically it was health food"

"Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn't proof that you can effectively work as part of a team"

"In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact."

"Ultimate joke formula Q: What did (x) say to (x)? A: (Rude slang) Examples: What did the catterpillar say to the leaf? ;3 ""F*** you"""

"What does a musician use to build a house? A tuba-four"

"What type of Bees provide millk? Boobees (boobies)"