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Joke of the Day

"How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there"

"What do you call a horny priest? A firm believer."

"Doctor, reaching for a piece of paper: ""Are you on any meds?"" Me: ""You might want to grab a notebook."""

"What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care? ""It's asbestos could be."""

"How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Light bulb."

"[at heaven's gate] God: Tell me why I should let u in Me: I've never made anyone look at my baby's ultrasound pic God: You can have my bed"

"What did the baby corn say? what did the baby corn say to momma corn? where is popcorn."

"Say what you want about my sex life... I'm not having it."

"The Bible wouldn't sound so preachy if every commandment was followed by the word ""dude."""

"What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus? You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!"