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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a large group of people who spit on others? The Salivation Army."
Next Joke
"Newlyweds tell the hotel desk clerk ""we need a room we just got married!"" Clerk says ""would you like a bridal?"" The husband replies"" no I'll just hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it."""
"Assorted nuts... ...was the name of the insane asylum."
"I had a terrible cross-eyed teacher in primary schoool She could never keep her pupils under control."
"What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with mud? a dirty hooker"
"This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'."
"I screwed up self-checkout at the supermarket and had to ask myself if I could see a manager."
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black."
"Do you know who has the most home runs in MLB history? Barry Bonds... Do you know who leads the MLB in strikeouts pitched? Nolan Ryan... Do you know who has been hit by the most balls? Liberaci"
"I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food."