58788

Joke of the Day

"Newlyweds tell the hotel desk clerk ""we need a room we just got married!"" Clerk says ""would you like a bridal?"" The husband replies"" no I'll just hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it."""

"I was going to make a joke about Counter Strike... But it would be globally offensive."

"SON: What's a sex tape? ME: Er well when er a man & a woman have er intercourse they S: No M: No? S: Dad. I know what sex is. What's a tape?"

"Q5: How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? A: Tea Rex?"

"The word politics is derived from two words The word poly meaning many and the word ticks meaning blood sucking parasite."

"So Curtis Jackson has filed for Bankruptcy... at least he still has 50 Cent to his name."

"idk about you but I still remember what I was doing when I found out Kennedy had been shot: sitting at home, reading the JFK Wikipedia page"

"LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied"

"I was shocked when I found out just how many techno songs Steven Hawking sings on."

"There's a knock at my door. Jehovah's Witness. I decided to let him in. I go, ""Now what?"" He says, ""I dunno...I never got this far."""