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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Doctor please kiss me! Doctor: I am sorry, I can't! My code of ethics forbids me to kissing my patients. Honestly speaking we should not be having sex either."

"Remember: if the Pilgrims had shot a bobcat instead of a turkey, we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving ..."

"If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I'm a bad parent... A bad parent with an ice cold beer."

"How do you call a game console named after an MMA fighter? Nate DS"

"Math problem: I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now? ""Oh, I do not know, DIABETES MAYBE!"""

"I like that I'm not a celebrity. It means I can call people 'retards' and I don't have to apologize."

"You don't know what you have until it's gone.... For example, toilet paper"

"-hey lucifer. did it hurt -did what hurt -when you fell from heaven -for the last time gabriel i am not going out with you"

"Funny one liner:what is mean by Assasination There is a girl in my office.she has a kickass ass. she kills me with her ass...hope now u know,how the word 'Assasination' came into existence.."

"Spider-Man, hanging right in front of your face when you turn on the bathroom light."