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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Doctor please kiss me! Doctor: I am sorry, I can't! My code of ethics forbids me to kissing my patients. Honestly speaking we should not be having sex either."

"An apple a day keep the doctor away But only if it's thrown hard enough"

"friend: what are your plans for The Purge? [imagines broadcasting a football game w/o express written consent of the NFL] me: do a murder"

"What is Laziness? Logical Answer It is the Art of Taking Rest Before Getting Tired."

"Apple profits have been going through the roof One might say... they're back in mac. *I'll see myself out.*"

"at any given time the urge to sing ""the lion sleeps tonight"" is just a whim away a whim away a whim away a whim away"

"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" Candidate: ""Honesty."" Interviewer: ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" Candidate: ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""

"Did you hear the weather forecast for the hiphop festival? ...They're calling for a Lil Wayne"

"How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye? When it comes out in conversation."

"Why was Beethoven making a lot of money? His property was Fur Elise"