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Joke of the Day

"I bought some new speakers today...... I think I made a sound investment."

"Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill."

"How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia? One steppe at a time."

"I love mange tout... ...but I couldn't eat a whole one."

"Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don't have Cancer! Me: So it's working..."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger goes to a Halloween party. The theme is ""Dead Classical Composers""... When asked who he'll dress up as, Arnold says, ""I'll be Bach."""

"Dad, how could you? I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"[me on a ledge] COP: (through megaphone) WE'VE CALLED SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP! *Kris Kross steps out of a police van*"

"When I come back in the next life, I would like to come back as a bathroom mirror in a house full of hot women."

"I feel like Pitbull is what happens when you give a shift supervisor at Aeropostale a record deal"