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Joke of the Day

"Dad, how could you? I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

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"an elevator what can a elevator do but a mexican family cant. raise a child PLS IM NOT RACIST DONT HATE"
"I cumfonted my girlfriend this morning... What did she have to say? Get me a towel."
"Books all over the floor..... but I have only my shelf to blame."
"Did you hear about the guy whose toilet flushes with hot water? He thinks he's real hot shit."
"Whats the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls, they are under a buck"
"Anyway, I heard some ""Norwegian black metal"" today. Let's just say there's a reason no one ever built cities on it..."
"Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire? Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!"
"I watch zombie movies to prepare myself if one day it really happens. Same for porn."
"I'm really surprised I decided to get Botox. At least I think I'm surprised, I can't really tell."