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Joke of the Day

"I feel like Pitbull is what happens when you give a shift supervisor at Aeropostale a record deal"

"Stop looking at row numbers in first class. That's not where you sit."

"What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? Both looking for a tight seal."

"PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you"

"What did the Scientologist play on his Wii? Xenublade"

"A new zoo opened up in my town, but it only has one dog. It's a shih tzu"

"So this pirate walks into a bar and he has the ships wheel attached to his hips. The bar tender says, ""wow that looks uncomfortable!"" The pirate responds, ""ARGH ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"""

"Did you hear about the antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"There is one good thing about pedophiles... its that they drive slowly when going past a school."

"What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production? Role tied."