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Joke of the Day

"Two days is not enough time for a weekend."

"My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat."

"hey girl, are you into adopting animals? Because I will probably pee in your bed and run away"

"How do you make a gay guy fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt."

"HR- do you know why we called you down here today? Me- your broomstick is broke and you need a ride? HR... Me- a house landed on your sister"

"My mom took my phone when I wasn't paying attention She said ""honey have you been watching porn?"" ""N-no mom why would you say that?"" I asked petrified. ""Because your search history is blank""."

"First Time Around What do you call your first time masturbating? A first hand experience."

"During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel."

"What goes around.... still goes around, because life is a b**ch"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The egg, it already got laid. The bird is too chicken."