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Joke of the Day

"I have a huge fear of elevators... I've started taking steps to avoid it."

"Why Heisenberg didn't have any kids the second he found the position he lost the momentum, when he got momentum he couldn't find the position."

"Submit your best! (Puns) What are your best one or two liner PUNS?"

"I'm sure there'll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams' death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones."

"They found Bruce Willis dead next to a bottle of Viagra... ...I guess he *Died Hard*"

"Have you tried that new cocktail called Hurricane Sandy? It's just a watered down Manhattan."

"What do you say when you leave the UAE? Dubai-bye!"

"People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don't live in New York."

"Yo momma so ugly .. Her portraits hang themselves"

"Lindsay Lohan said she's voting for Mitt b/c ""employment is really important right now"" Like it's Obama's fault no one wants to hire her."