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Joke of the Day

"They found Bruce Willis dead next to a bottle of Viagra... ...I guess he *Died Hard*"

"Got fired from the firedepartment Guess putting a sticker saying 'find em hot and leave em dripping' wasn't a good thing to put on our truck"

"I think we should invest in mosquito nets for Africa We can save millions of mosquitos from needlessly dying of aids"

"I tried to catch some fog... but i mist."

"Can't remember the last time I said Happy Birthday using my actual voice."

"In the 90's did the backstreet boys have a cafeteria? I mean a bacteria.Thank you ladies and germs."

"""Seriously? No one has ANY other suggestions??"" - Guy at the meeting to name Siemens Mattress Company"

"BREAKING: Scientists send teen girl back in time to report on WWII. ""Hitler's haircut is literally the worst,"" she writes. ""Also he's mean."""

"When is it unlucky to see a black cat ? When your a mouse !"

"I told my Jewish girlfriend I was going to stuff her in the oven Because she's my cutie pie!"