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Joke of the Day

"What's black, white and red, and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her head."

"Tasteless Irish joke: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. Happy saint Patricks Day!"

"An Andrew Dice Clay-esqe bit There was an Old Lady who swallowed a fly. She made $50."

"A balding person in denial is probably like maybe it's all in my head."

"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."

"What does its job only after its been fired? A bullet."

"How does a black woman know she's pregnant? When she takes the tampon out the cotton is picked."

"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"

"forever alone Having alcohol by yourself at home is considered a problem, but social drinking is acceptable. So now, whenever I open a crate of White Lightning, I always log on to Facebook."

"What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.? Between a politician and a news camera."