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Joke of the Day

"Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!"

"Actual Mechanical Advantage(AMA)"

"- Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?"

"Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding."

"I'd like to start today by telling you how wonderful (NAME) is. I'd like to but..."

"My girlfriend just told me she might be pregnant I told her to cut it out"

"What does a boat have in common with a ballsack? They both have a lot of seamen"

"My neighbor obviously doesn't watch porn, she asked me to fix her sink 2 hours ago and I'm still fixing her sink"

"Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered."

"Playing Scrabble is like talking to women... You spend the whole time looking at the rack trying to form words."