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Joke of the Day

"My last girlfriend ate a like a bird She literally banged her head repeatedly onto the table to eat"

"I've started making jokes about sodium and potassium. I think I've finally got the NaK of it."

"All these illegal immigrants...(xpost) ...have crossed the line!"

"Why are there no Jews on Jupiter? Because it's a gas planet."

"What should we call this giant advertising board? Phil: A philboard Bill: I have a better idea"

"What's the worst part of running into your ex? You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged."

"What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded."

"If Trump becomes president, I would really like to see how Republicans are going to defend him for doing the same thing Obama did: Nothing."

"I paid 4 the lady in front of me @ Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire"